“Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story . . .” (Desiderata, Max Ehrmann, 1927)
After watching the most recent Academy Awards Show, I have decided that there are just too many useless words. It’s not so much about the length of the acceptance speeches during which winners want to “thank those who it made all possible.” But it’s more about the testimonials, the inside stories, or the far too many inappropriate references that sometimes need to be bleeped and leave one wondering if it was all so necessary. The use and amount of words is a curious thing. Most State of the Union messages are remembered not for the power of their words but rather for the length of time it took to speak them. Conversely, Lincoln’s Gettysburg address is frequently memorized and recalled not only for its brevity but for the inspiration and effectiveness of its 270 word choices.
A former public relations director at Lake Superior State University came up with the idea that certain words and phrases should just be eliminated from use. W. T. Rabe and fellow LSSU faculty and staff initiated such a list at a New Year’s Eve party in 1975, printing it on Jan. 1, 1976. Every year since, the annual ‘List of Words Banished from the Queen’s English for Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness’ receives contributions from all over the world and continues to be published by the Michigan University. If these word-watchers are able to target their pet peeves from everyday speech, then we should certainly be able to censor our own verbosity. The problem is that most of us have no desire to do so. In most cases, our society embraces people who speak their mind. Bluntness in the wrong situation can be harmful, and once the words are out there – you can’t take them back. Recently some public figures have been taken to task for embellishing the realities of their work. And in this day of social media, far too many have learned the hard way that what goes out into cyberspace lives out there forever and may just come back to haunt you.
There is much contained in the Word of God about what flows from our lips. As we walk this Journey, we have each fallen to listening to or perpetrating gossip. “The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly” (Proverbs 15:14). We have perhaps passed on a confidence that really wasn’t ours to tell. We must understand that this only cheapens who we are. “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion to be worthless” (James 1:26). We find ourselves in the wrong situation, our emotions to get out of control, and we let a few choice words fly. So – “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be” (James 3:9-10). Maybe as we think about what we might give up for Lent, we might consider editing some of our words.
Our mouth can often get us into hot water and has caused many to wonder if the words they spoke would have been best left unsaid. We have all made empty statements, taken cheap shots at the expense of another, or spoken harshly when someone just needed to know they were loved. Therefore, the Apostle Paul would tell us: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29). There have been times when I knew that I would be with a person who was hurting and I prayed the wrong prayer, one that God might bless me with the right words to say. On many of those occasions, I walked away feeling that I was the one who had been blessed, because all the other person really needed was a good listener. I came to understand just how accurate Martin Luther King was when he said: “In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.”
REFLECTION: As a follower of Jesus, what are the questions you should be asking about the use of words in your life? Does your choice of words represent who you claim to be? How might you be a stronger encourager to others through the use of fewer words and better listening?
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